Hi Friend,
I remember it well. The unease around pool parties, the concern as beach vacations neared. The obsession that would creep in when choosing foods, and the hope that my stomach would look more like the stomach of "that one friend" when it was time to change into swimsuits.
Even outside of the summer season, poor body image can really wear down your emotional state and make life's fun activities a drag. My hope for each person reading this is that you feel confident in your own skin, that you be able to devote your entire being to rich memories, and that family vacations not be marred by how you feel in your swimsuit. That's why today I am sharing some of the biggest mistakes I made on my journey to body image recovery so that you don't have to make them yourself. I hope you find them helpful!
Mistake #1: Body Comparison
I believe body comparison is one of the number one ways to perpetuate poor body image. You don't get to choose your body's frame or how your body distributes muscle or fat. There are some things you aren't meant to change about your body. Comparing your body to another person's can lead to unachievable goals. Unachievable goals, in turn, lead to frustration and the experience of constantly falling short of expectations, which take a toll on a person's mental health.
It is also important to not compare yourself to past versions of your. Body comparison with your past self can also become an obsession. Your body likely looked different 10-20 years ago. Looking at old pictures and wishing you looked like you did back is not a good thing if it leaves you feeling ashamed and grieving for how you once looked.
If you are someone who engages in consistent body comparison, I challenge you to find three physical traits you appreciate about yourself and remind yourself of them when you are tempted to compare. If this is a challenging task, come up with three things your body does for you every day that you are thankful for and thank your body for them when you are tempted to compare.
Example: "Thank you stomach for digesting my food and allowing my body to access nutrients."
Mistake #2: Exercising for the sole purpose of burning calories
I can remember feeling like I needed to go for the most intense exercise routine because that is what I thought would change my body the fastest. Unfortunately, I would combine these activities with improper fueling which left me feeling exhausted and dreading exercise. Concentrating on calories burned also took the joy out of moving my body and limited my ability to enjoy the plethora of benefits it offers. I was also less consistent because I felt like it "didn't count" unless it was 60 minutes. If I only had 30 minutes available to exercise, I wouldn't exercise at all.
When I started to choose workouts that I actually looked forward to and made sure that my intake was meeting my estimated needs, I became more consistent. I let go of timeframes in my exercise routines and stopped telling myself I needed to look a certain way in x amount of weeks. I committed to movement because I knew that's what my body needed and let my body figure out how it wanted to respond to that movement.
Mistake #3: Body Checking
Body checking is when you repeatedly seek information about your shape or size from mirrors, scales, or other methods. This might look like taking your weight multiple times per day. Or it might look like checking the flatness of your stomach every time you are in the bathroom. To some extent, body checking can be normal, like monitoring different trends over time. But body checking becomes a problem if you find yourself obsessing over it and it starts interfering with your daily activities. The problem with body checking is that it doesn't give you a broad picture of what is truly going on. It focuses on one moment in time and usually results in drastic choices. A common thought is, "my stomach doesn't look how I want it to look so I am not going to eat the next meal."
One method to decrease body checking is to take away any full length mirrors in your house. You can also give your scale away or have a trusted family member hide it for a period of time. If you tend to obsess over what you see in the mirror while getting ready you can set a timer for the amount of time you will allow yourself to get the necessities done and then get out of the bathroom when the alarm goes off.
I am so grateful for the healing I have found in how I view myself. It has changed my life and who I am today. The best part? I can actually enjoy a good pool party without anxiety. How you perceive your body is very important on your journey to health and wellbeing. All of your actions in life start as singular thoughts. If your thoughts and body image are poor, you will likely continue to make poor choices. If you are stumped on how to improve your body image, a counselor can be a great option to help you improve this area of your life. Pairing a counselor with a dietitian is a great way to tackle the physical and mental aspects of your health. If you feel like you want something more for your future and want to start tackling your health in this way, I've included a link below so you can get started today.
Heaps of blessings,
Mikyah, RDN, LD, CD
Comments